Why Do Some Expats Hate Their Own Country?

Why do some expats hate their own country? I get that pretty often when speaking to other expats here in Thailand. This isn’t even a Thailand only issue as there are seemingly expats living around the world trying to escape where they’re from. People say things like “I’ll never go back there” or “I hate it there”. Personally I’ve nothing against the UK where I’m from. It seems strange to me to show such vitriol and burn bridges with your homeland.

I’m sure many of you still enjoy going back home for trips to see family and friends. If I went more than a couple of years without a proper Sunday roast or a chance to see my football team play in the flesh I’d go a bit crazy. My reasons for becoming an expat were to explore and try living in a new culture, not to show my dislike for England. For some it seems expat life is an escape which allows them to paint their new life as a success and their previous self in their homeland a failure or just a negative.

Why Are You An Expat?

Is the reason for becoming an expat an indication as to why some expats hate their own country?

I guess some people are running away from their home country when they become an expat. Quite literally when it comes to the case of criminals. Thailand does get a fair few criminals arriving here on the run from the law including a couple of brothers from the UK last week. I couldn’t imagine stealing, killing or doing anything more illegal than watching that 18 certificate movie when I was 16 but, If I was a cold-hearted killer, I’d probably say I hate my country for wanting to lock me up for years. Actually if I was caught though I’d be trying to get myself back home rather than be locked up in Thailand!

I’ve also met a few expats who are seemingly on the run from partners or marriages. A lot of them relate that bad experience to living in their home country and as such build a negative view of it. Places such as Thailand provide them more freedom in many sense and they have this urge to never return to their “evil” homeland where life wasn’t as easy or fun. I’m 31 so I obviously can’t speak from experience in this situation but perhaps it is possible to understand someone in their 50s or 60s who wants an escape in their last decade or two.

These days political reasons seem to be a big cause of desertion and hatred towards one’s own country. Brexit and Trump seem to be reasons from Brits and Americans to show hatred towards their own country. Personally I’m glad that I don’t have to deal with politics in my home country whilst living in Thailand even if I don’t really like everything that’s happening there. In my personal opinion neither Trump nor Brexit are quite at the level of some governments out there who are doing purely evil acts against their people. If you’re from a country where the government are doing terrible things then of course go ahead and hate it.

In the worst case scenario you may have been forced to become an expat due to there being a danger on your life in your home country. I’ve taught students from Syria who came to Bangkok as their country wasn’t safe but funnily enough there was nowhere these people would rather be than back home in Damascus.

Culturally you might not feel comfortable in your home country. If you feel like you can’t fit in with the people from your homeland then I understand that moving overseas sounds good. Is it a reason to completely disown your home country though?

These Days My Country Does Nothing For ME!

Recently the British Embassy here in Thailand said they would stop providing a document which helped retirees get their yearly visas. If, somehow, you missed the anger and shock over this then let me say it made a lot of Brits pissed off with the embassy and the country. The funny thing was that a lot of expats thought the embassy owed them this document. In my opinion there are still ways to stay here in Thailand without the document and ample time has been given to meet the new criteria. It even seems that the original method of monthly payments , rather than a yearly lump sum, will still be accepted. What I did notice in the complaints is that expats were saying that their home country didn’t care about them and as such it was an example of the “failing” British system and the “backwards” nature of the UK.

Another key complaint is when it comes to documents like passport renewals. Often the process is more time consuming and expensive than if you were based in your home country. I have an article here about renewing a UK passport here in Thailand and get at least one email a month from people saying something like “How can it be so difficult, my country is making it hard for me, it’s a joke and they don’t care about me and my family here”. The problem is all of these people still need their UK passport so have to go through the, pretty straightforward, steps of getting it. It’s almost as if expats forget that paperwork does exist in their home country and getting passports, driving licenses etc does take time, effort and money.

The fact that you’re living overseas means that you need to accept that there will be limitations of what your country will do for you seems to go over the heads of many expats. Sure it can be frustrating that you don’t get everything you need but for some it seems to be the tipping point where their home country turns into the enemy.

I Can't Stand My Country, But....

It’s funny when expats say they hate their country but still benefit from their nationality.

Passports from certain countries carry a lot of clout and allow us to travel pretty freely, live in a variety of countries and even to get ahead in certain situations. I’m certainly not a liberal but you can see privilege does apply when it comes to nationality as an expat.

As a teacher I get a job here in Thailand pretty easily thanks to my nationality. If I hated the UK and got a Zimbabwean passport (where my dad was born) things might be a little different. As a tourist I can go to pretty much any country. Also, here in Thailand, as a British expat, I can get access to clubs and societies to help me get work, promote my business and network which, if I renounced my nationality, I couldn’t get.

Those expats from countries with powerful passports may complain about where they were born but still they are only able to be an expat because of that nation.

Quite a lot of these conversations with expats who hate their conversation often take place whilst eating food from their home country or drinking imported beer from there, it’s quite ironic.

A lot of expats who complain about their country will quite happily talk about their homeland in detail whilst not really understanding where they now live. I met an American guy who said he was done with the States due to Obama and the policies he brought in. He also only wanted to talk about American football, life in his State and American women. It took a lot of effort not to point all this out to him that he still seemed to care a lot about his country despite him vowing to never return….

Do They Really Mean It?

A lot of expats who say they hate their country will normally talk about the “good old days”. Do they really hate it there or has it just changed from what they were used to?

When I went back to the UK last Christmas I did feel a change in the people. I’ve only been an expat for six years but I felt a bit strange in my home country. Speaking to customer service staff who actually understood me, different bank notes and cold weather all knocked me back. Perhaps some expats have been away from home so long that they miss these changes and just feel that their homeland is now just not what it used to be.

If you’ve been away a long time or perhaps even a few months you might find that you’re being dramatic when you talk about your lack of love for your home country. Causing shock seems to be cool these days.

The other, unfortunate, scenario is that these people are unable to go back home. By saying that they hate their home country they can save face and avoid going back. Perhaps they don’t have the funds to go back and by saying they hate their far-away homeland they can avoid the embarrassment that they can’t afford the airfare for themselves or their family. I even wrote about those looking to retire in cheaper countries in their 30’s or 40’s to live a cheaper lifestyle and they don’t budget for flights back home.

How Do Their Family Feel?

For whatever reason someone says they can’t stand their homeland there must be family or friends back home.

If I said I was never going to visit my home country again or that I hated it so much my family would be beyond gutted. If you truly have no-one back home then again you might be saying you hate your homeland just to avoid going there, not that you really detest it. I miss having a beer with my Granddad. I miss playing golf with my dad. There are a million reasons for me to go back home as often as I can.

Like I said in the section before people might be being dramatic. These people might say things like “I have to go home to see family” but in reality they are more pissed off that they either are missing a couple of weeks in their new location or have to spend a lot of money to get there.