Thai Manners – What a Load of Krup

When speaking Thai with friends I often get chastised for not using “krup” enough to make my sentences polite. Krup (and Ka for ladies) is a key word in the Thai language and is used to soften sentences and show respect to the person you’re speaking to. Thai people are rightly proud of the Thai smile and that manners and politeness are considered important here. However, as an expat you will experience some situations which make you wonder if Thai people are selective in what they will do to be polite.

Holding the door

For many expats the idea of holding the door open for someone behind us is a common courtesy. If someone does it for us then it goes without saying that you should say thank you to them. Here in Thailand this piece of etiquette has seemingly not been taught to many.

Countless times I’ve been walking into malls or my condo and people haven’t looked or just don’t bother to hold the door. What’s worse is that on a few occasions I’ve been carrying something heavy and people don’t bother to take three seconds of their time to help me out with the door.

What is almost as bad is when you make the effort to hold the door for someone and they don’t acknowledge you for doing so. It’s happened to me so many times that I’ve lost count. Even giving dirty stares and sarcastically saying “thank you” to them doesn’t seem to raise a response.

I’ve heard people say that the reason for not saying thank you is that Thai people are scared to speak to foreigners. To be honest I’m sure they could could at least mangae a “Krup/Ka”.

Strangely when it comes to elevators Thai people are very polite and always hold the doors open if they see someone coming. It’s strange that there is such a difference between a normal door and one to an elevator!

Thanking the shopkeeper

I know some really polite Thai people but not a single one of them has ever said thank you to a shopkeeper when I’ve been with them. When I get my change or complete a transaction I automatically say thanks wherever I am and regardless of the quality of service.

I was in Europe with a few Thai people and as they left the counter without saying thank you I had to embarrassingly look back to the assistant and say it on their behalf. This must just be a cultural issue and Thai people must not consider it rude to continue their phones calls, keep their headphones in and not say anything to workers in shops.

This issue extends to most people in service roles. Waiters, motorbike drivers and most others in low paying jobs rarely receive a thank you from customers. To be honest when I do thank them they seem rather surprised!

Letting someone cross the road

As most cities in Thailand suffer traffic jams it may come as a surprise that it is still pretty difficult just to cross a road. When cars are stuck behind lights or other cars they still choose to drive as fast as possible for as long as possible before it is completely necessary to stop. It means that pedestrians are often stuck waiting to cross as some inconsiderate fool has driven halfway across a junction in their bus or truck and blocked off the road.

Motorbikes will look for any gap in traffic to move and rather than let pedestrians through will try and take the only available walking space on the road. The same principle applies to letting people out of spaces or giving way, it almost seems like a loss of face if a motorist allows someone else to go first.

Staff ignoring you when you’re with Thai people

You’re with your Thai partner or friends and are at a shop or restaurant and speak Thai but the staff member blanks you and just talks to your Thai friends / partner instead. I’d say this happens around 50% of the time when you are at somewhere for the first time. The further you are from a tourist area the more likely it is. Sure your Thai might not be perfect but the staff member will take the easy route out and speak to the Thai person instead.

My friend Steve, whose Thai is probably in the top 5% of expats in Thailand, has had this numerous times despite being able to talk about anything in Thai fluently. He was in an international hospital and the reception staff just spoke to his Thai wife instead. I’ve had this in restaurants when ordering simple dishes. It will will grind your gears!

However, as a side note I have returned to restaurants and after time staff do become more confident to speak with foreigners in Thai and rely less on Thai partners / friends.

Being late

In my first week here in Thailand an American guy I met warned me about “Thai time”. I didn’t know the phase and he told me that a lot of Thai people are usually late. The traffic and hot weather are usually excuses rolled out by Thai people to excuse lateness and it isn’t seen as a big deal. Being British it is (or at least was) a big deal for me. To be honest most British people will arrive early and the idea that someone is very late is seen as rude. However, here in Thailand it is often laughed off. I’m not talking about being a few minutes late but sometimes it can be over an hour.

Over time you will come to realize that time is not so important and people will be late. Nowadays I am normally late myself so I guess I have fallen into the trap of blaming the traffic or weather too!

Racism

There are obviously racist people in every country. Here in Thailand it seems to be tolerated more than in western countries. I’ve heard people from all walks of life in Thailand say things that are pretty shocking. Classes I’ve taught have all joked and laughed about racist topics. I was with a group of Indian people on Koh Samui and the workers on the pier said ridiculously bad things about them in Thai. A lot of personal products in Thailand include whitening ingredients and it seems the idea of having darker skin is seen as a big negative here.

As I said before there are racist people in every country but as an expat here you will see and hear things that will shock you.

Littering

I honestly can’t believe the number of times I have seen people just chuck litter in the street, a bush or a river. There are not enough litter bins on the streets but it seems that rather than keep their rubbish until they find a bin some Thai people will literally throw it anywhere. 7/11 is normally where I look for a bin but even here I see people walk out of the shop and throw their plastic wrappers on the floor rather than walk five meters to the trash can.

The state of some beaches, rivers and canals is a disgrace. Flooding is a big issue and part of that is due to drains being clogged with litter.

Queuing

Queuing is a very British thing. We love order and get really pissed off if someone cuts the line. Here in Thailand lines don’t mean so much. Waiting for a bus because a scrum with people trying to shove their way in first to get a seat. The same happens when getting taxis, people will go and move five meters down the road to steal a cab over someone who has been waiting a long time.

One of the only times lines do form is when people are waiting to get onto an escalator. It seems a lot of people here are really hesitant to get on and wait for about four or five stairs to go before jumping on.

To be honest Thailand isn’t the only country which suffers from poor queue etiquette. Many European countries have similar issues.

Why do these things happen?

In a country where emphasis is put on Karma and being respectful it is strange that the above happens. In general it is easy to say that culture plays a big part. For example when it comes to queuing there are different attitudes in pretty much every country. With language it is obviously easier for Thai people to speak in Thai with other Thais rather than struggle with a foreigner. Holding the door and thanking staff in shops is something ingrained in me, I guess here in Thailand it just isn’t seen as important.

For Thai children manners are based on showing respect for elders, monks and the royal family. Thai people, in general, are super polite with family, more so than foreigners. A key point of living in Thailand is to accept these differences and try not to let them affect you too much.

This article should be seen as a gentle ribbing of Thai manners and of course there are Thai people who do none of the above. As I said at the beginning it is just a little surprising and is something pretty much every expat here in Thailand will notice over time.