Problems With Neighbors In Thailand

I’ve just had to find a new condo as I’ve had a falling out with my neighbor. Actually it seems that I’m the problem and as such I got the hint from my agent that the landlord wouldn’t mind if I leave before the end of my contract. Looking online and talking with friends it seems that problems with neighbors in Thailand isn’t too uncommon.

My situation seems a bit crazy to me as, in my opinion, I’ve done no real wrong. I watch the TV until around 11.30pm most nights and play a bit of music through my computer during the day but have never had parties or anything like that in my current condo.

I’ve had problems with neighbors here before in Thailand and it’s interesting to see why these problems happen. Perhaps there are issues on all sides.

If You Rent You Aren’t Important

The issue that I’ve had is that in my situation is that I rent my room but my neighbors have purchased theirs. I get the constant feeling that the condo management, who are acting as intermediaries, are on the side of my neighbor as they are owners and as such more important in their eyes.

My reasoning falls on death ears and I get condescending looks and calls from the condo team. I’ve actually given up fighting back because it’s not worth the effort.

I’ve also heard from others who had problems with property owners who don’t respect the right’s of renters. One colleague who rented a house had his parking space blocked off by a neighbor who insisted that she deserved that space as she actually owned her house.

Another ex-colleague told me his experience living in a house meant his rights weren’t considered when having issues with a neighbor. He had a BBQ party in his garden which ended with the village security shutting it down whilst his neighbor held parties frequently without consequences.

Speaking to a few people about this point they said that if someone has paid a few million baht for a condo they might expect it to be their quiet paradise. I can understand if you’ve put a lot of money into a place you’d want it to be perfect. However, as a renter, I’m entitled to live in my room and expect a good living environment too.

Cultural Differences

It’s definitely possible that cultural differences could lead to bad blood between neighbors.

In the UK most neighbors will introduce themselves and normally be civil. Here I’ve never had a similar relationship with a neighbor. This isn’t really a problem as I don’t need to be friends with neighbors. I’ve always had Thai neighbors in the six places I’ve lived in but only had problems with two of them.

In the UK if you had a noise problem with a neighbor you might let it slide the first time and then perhaps mention it if it happens again. Here it seems most people go straight to the condo / village management to formally complain. One of my neighbors has even threaten to get police over to arrest me according to the condo management!

At my current place one of my neighbors has complained about me four times. The problem is I don’t know which neighbor it is as they go straight to the condo management and the condo management wont tell me who it is. The other issue is they won’t say specifically what I’ve done wrong. They come up with things like “The TV was loud” or “They heard you coming in late and closing the door loudly” but these don’t always match with what I was actually doing.

I’d love to find out who it is and have a quick chat with them to see what is wrong and how I could fix this problem. However it seems impossible and whenever I see any of my neighbors (one either side and another opposite) they all run inside or away as soon as possible. Perhaps I really am a neighbor from hell!

On the other hand I’m sure there are things I could have done differently. Perhaps if my Thai was better I could build a relationship with my neighbors. If I went to bed earlier I might not have had these problems. As I said the way I would like to confront my problems is by talking to my neighbor but it seems they have no interest in speaking with me.

Finally I’ve heard a couple of people say it might be because my neighbor doesn’t want to live next to a foreigner. I’d like to think this isn’t the case. I’m sure there are people all over the world who don’t like their neighbors based on race, nationality, sexuality and other reasons but I’d say this is a long shot. I’d imagine that you might not have a friendship with a neighbor due to cultural issues such as language but it looks a reach to say a neighbor would make your life here difficult just because you’re not Thai.

The shame is the place I live in now is a cracking condo and I’d love to stay here for the foreseeable future. My Landlord will now be stuck trying to fill the room and I’ll be sad to leave this place over something which could have been solved like adults.

Not Used To Living This Way

When a lot of expats come to Thailand they end up in apartments or condos. Bangkok was the first place where I lived in a condo and I won’t deny that it took some getting used to.

I would get annoyed at people making noise in the corridor. Slamming doors would grind my gears. My neighbor cooking on their balcony pissed me off. Over time I’ve become more tolerant of my neighbors but it’s taken over five years to get there.

For a lot of people, a condo or apartment in Bangkok is the only way they can afford to live in the city. A lot of people here live with families until a late age and then move into the city for work.

Living in a large family house in a quiet village in the suburbs is nothing like living in a condo / apartment. When living in a family home the only complaints you might get are your mum telling you to turn the music down or your dad ordering you not to leave your stuff outside your room. Likewise you probably hear your sister singing in the bathroom or get used to your gran’s cooking. You learn to accept things with family members which perhaps you can’t with strangers in a condo or apartment. The idea is that in a family house you have more noise than in a condo but you need to adapt and accept that condo’s will never be silent and you’ll have to put up with small annoyances from strangers.

I’m not denying that my neighbors can hear me sometimes. I’m sure they can. The problem is that perhaps they’ve never lived in a condo before and don’t appreciate that such noise will happen. Most of my neighbors previously lived in their room for a year without a neighbor so perhaps they got used to the silence. The good news for them is that they’ll get that until my land lord finds a new tenant.

Cooking…

I love myself a bit of Thai food but I draw the line at smelling something terrible wafting through the open door of a neighbor’s building.

I had the misfortune of living next to someone who would always leave their front door open in an apartment block to let the air flow. The problem was they cooked monstrosities which stank the whole corridor out. Also it meant I had to keep my balcony door closed to avoid the stench of fermented fish and god knows what else.

In the same vein you never know if your neighbor will suddenly start selling food in front of their house. You could find yourself being woken up at very early o’clock by someone preparing food to sell on their new stall. Add to this the extra traffic and noise and you might find yourself in a bad situation.

Tit For Tat

The funny thing with my neighbors is that I hear them pretty much every day too. This might be them closing doors loudly or their alarm going off.

I had the idea of complaining about them but in the end, this kind of tit for tat will probably cause more problems than it’s worth. I’m considering whether I should drop a letter into my neighbor’s rooms when I leave or to talk with the condo manager at the end as I feel this situation could have been avoided.

In the end I feel there has to be a bit of give and take with neighbors, especially in condos or apartments. It’s a shame that , in some situations, neighbors don’t talk through problems.

Rock n’ Roll Aint Noise Pollution

To be honest if my neighbor was playing a bit of AC/DC I’d be quite happy. The problem is quite often they’re blaring some type of music I hate or just revving their car at an ungodly hour. Perhaps I should put a requests list on my front door and my neighbors can choose which songs they’d like to hear that day!

In the next few days Chinese New Year is coming which means a lot of my neighbors will be setting off billions of firecrackers (great for the smog too…). I put up with this as I know it’s a once a year thing. However, if I was living opposite someone who did karaoke every day or invited loads of people over to drink every night I’d be pissed off.

In all seriousness I’d hope that people understand noise can be a problem but also that walking on egg shells that you may offend someone isn’t a great way to live either.

Dealing With The Problem

In my case I’m moving to a new condo. The hassle and stress of dealing with this has taken it’s toll. I’ve purchased wireless headphones to watch the TV after 10pm. I’m careful to do everything in almost silence late in the day. I don’t invite friends over to watch the football anymore.

As a renter I’m lucky to be in the position that in the worst case scenario I’d lose my deposit. In my current situation it seems my landlord is happy to get me out and I’ll get most of my deposit back.

If you’ve purchased a place and have these problems then I feel sorry for you. I’d hope you could discuss things with your neighbors but then that isn’t always possible due to loss of face etc…

The place where you live should be somewhere you can enjoy being. Of course you should be respectful to your neighbors but you also should have a certain degree of freedom to do what you want at home. My new place is a corner room with super thick walls and no neighbors, let’s hope all goes well!